Sports without Clocks

I'm sure I've posted this before, but you could play major sports without the clock if you made them into races to certain point totals. For example, basketball could be played to 100 points, football 35, hockey 3, soccer 3. This would speed up the games and prevent ties.

The Fidelity of History...

So I hate to complain, but I'm complaining again...there has got to be an Old School directive...take yesterdays winners and implement them today with force...

I'm Bringing Home a Baby Bumble Bee

This is a serious post a little different than the rest... Given the landscape I need to get married and have children within the next 5 years to really be able to keep up with them (even though I don't need to have children)... I can't imagine raising a teen and young adult past my 60's. Of course, I need to find a young woman that I like well enough to have a baby, and raise a child with. And I need to shore up my finances to the point where I feel comfortable feeding not just 1 mouth but 3, 4, or 5. This seems impossible, but sometimes it's better with multiples. I often feel like a full house is a happy house, which is sort of a double standard because I spend so much time without being in the mix. I don't want this post to turn into a political rant, or even a plea for loving, just that given the lifespan of a human I have to think real hard about meeting someone and having children now, because tomorrow it will be too late.

Doesn't Matter How Strong He Is, He Can't Prove Repeats...

When the man makes you repeat yourself for the sake of what, you just say sure "man," you helped... and if he hides, you say you can run but you can't hide...

When Science Catches Up with Technology...

By improving the tech we have it would have a 2-fold improvement on production...Let me explain, the tech has been taking a serious nose-dive in the last 10 years, where agendas have bigger and bigger footings and the technology has been losing functionality...I saw this begin while I was studying Computer Science in college, that there were too many loose ends to be viable, the camps of dispersed individuals that were trying to keep the technology running were losing traction to the executives and consumers that were demanding features...I'm sure this conundrum is well understood to the point of tech's exemption, yet we still use tech in so many ways...Historically, the base technology just lingers around because of it's underwhelming popularity...and the tech rights itself, but what if it's breaking down???  Does it get to the point where better technology (read old school reason) is so important that you must use better technology or have problems??? For example, Voice Over IP is giving me spotty coverage, most likely because the internet is basically intermittent, but if I could upgrade to a land line would it help me at all? I'm sure I'll be paying more for a land line, but would the upgrade be worth the investment? I'm sure I don't want to go to cell technology, as that just lands people in hot water...but a base technology move like a land line; subscribing at home, and getting another line at work may just be the ticket...

Backgammon variants and play...

So, I've playing a bunch of chess and backgammon on my birthday, today, and I'm down a couple hundred points, but I've been in contention all day. I don't mind losing when it's close.

I tried a backgammon variant called "nackgammon" where 2 of your pieces are put on the 2 diamond at the beginning of play. It was fun, but I was wondering are there other ways to setup the board and play?! I've come up with 2 variants so far...

1) First I came up with a starting position that might result in a longer and more straight-forward game. Start the game with the same number of pieces on each diamond, except all of your pieces start on the opposite side of the board. The only downside I see to this method is that some rolls might not be as obvious like when you roll a 5 it wouldn't lead to the traditional candlesticks layout. Yet, this method would be a clear choice for simplifying the game and would lead to different tactics and roll-outs.

2) The second modification I came up with for backgammon is what might be called "Open Doubling" where the 1 receiving the challenge doesn't actually receive the doubling cube. This might lead to abusive play and unreasonable scenarios but it would allow for the stakes to be raised faster and might lead to interesting risk-taking game-play. You would still propose a double starting your turn, but you could propose a double each turn if wanted. Although the traditional method of doubling seems more reasonable for casual and tournament play.

That said, I'm sick of being a break even player, I want to start whooping the computer.

UPDATE (12-8-2019):
Another way of playing backgammon
3) I got this idea from Wikipedia.com and it was a fun game between Mom and me. I guess I've been drawn toward "free range" rule-sets that sometimes take longer routes for more expressive game-play. That said, the game is where you have to "bear on" all your pieces then make it around the board the usual way and bear them off. It creates a longer scenario while taking all of your pieces out of the tray, then when the armies meet it creates a bit of a random encounter as the armies are looking for ways to move and taking many risks passing the enemy's camp, then finally a standard bear off per the usual game. According to Wikipedia there are rules of re-rolling doubles, or taking any double after an Acey-Deucy (the name of one of the Wikipedia variants), but using standard rules with the longer route seems like the ticket to fun games, and the time to finish 1 game is still bearable.

Revisions...

If you've been following my ranting and raving you've been through a lot, this post will be a revision to posts that didn't always make sense.

1) I'm not an alcoholic or drug user, I do enjoy an occasional drink but it's nowhere near a problem. And most of the ranting and raving about drugs and use have to do with unfortunate sexual misconduct without a clear antagonist.

2) I'm not Amish, in fact I'm a regular computer user and have gained financially and personally from computers and technology. Some of my favorite pastimes come from the computer, video games, shopping, and browsing photos and music. I have been having trouble with the upgrades of the computer and related technologies, but as far as things are concerned no one has listened to my problems yet.

3) I'm not obsessed with Magic the Gathering. While I do enjoy a healthy competitive streak in sports and board games it's limited by a healthy body, mind, and soul. I do spend a good amount of time researching sports and board games, but I'm sure it's in good fun and is often balanced by winning and loosing streaks.

4) I am single and straight. While it's easy to assume that when a man doesn't marry it's because there is something wrong. It's just as much my decision to remain single this long as it is outside factors. I wouldn't mind it if I were to get married and have children, but I'm not going to insist on it.

5) I'm not hyper-religious nor have I ever been. We attend church for all sorts of occasions, and we don't even cover ourselves in chicken blood. If you have ever listened to me talking loudly about religion either I didn't care what I was saying, or I was acting, or both. If I were hard pressed to take a side, I would tell people I'm Christian and it hasn't helped me much.

At Times, I Feel, I Should Remind Myself, I'm a Modest Young Man, with a Strong Will and Nature...

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will..." well I've still have a lot of myself left, even though I don't miss a turn very often. A strong sense of sportsmanship is at the root of what I'm doing... I want to see myself succeed, and each other, in turn, win of their own choice. Yet, how many of these setbacks have taken root of my legs? People should be taking their turn.

Gaming in adult life not about violence or guns, make the content and systems better for people

I strongly believe that gaming and shooter games, particularly in adult life, and maybe with children too, is not so much about the violence or guns, it's about unique content. It's very natural to search for the novelty in the moment, so to speak. Yet, much of the hardship associated with upgrades is being misplaced and wasted. The modern technology is not hi-fi enough in most instances to keep up with the jargon. He's trying to improve on the wheel, and it's going badly. Wasting your breath is bad when it's about a problem that doesn't exist, and it's doubly bad wasting your breath when there really is a problem that needs resolving. While some people may find these outlets as a result of tendencies or bad habits, for the most part it's him pushing the button 1 minute too soon.

We want to go back to integrated circuits and stay away from embedded systems. It may be easier to manage 1 great big problem than to manage a million little problems, but the trace of integrated systems is bigger than the benefit of embedding everything. The PC runs smoother with a lot of little upgrades as compared to life shattering healthcare defining upgrades. I know it's hard to go back in time and do it right, but that's exactly what we should be doing for forms sake and for health's sake. I for 1 rely on life-affirming science to get me through. When you break things down for the sake of progress, there must in fact be progress. Killing processes for the sake of killing processes is psychopathy, but you already know that. In fact, "the man," is a glutton for punishment, he winds and unwinds history to suit nature, but what about the nature of man? You don't have to try for very long, to realize that he's trying too hard. More of the problems today stem from over-reach and formalities, than would ever come from the nature of the situation.

So why does he push an agenda that's sure to lead to problems? Because he sees the irony of the situation and thinks he can control the image of science, but he can't. The landscape is much bigger than him, and he knows it. He thinks he's managing his slice of the pie, but in fact he's digging himself a shallow grave. He even has me repeating myself for the sake of what? An early retirement? A childless future? All these upgrades give me little choice but to be left wanting. I'm sure the process of nature and "the man" is bigger than me, but don't take away my life support.

Related or not related, I plan on getting food stamp benefits back when I return from Arizona. I've been trying basically since I lost them to be reinstated. I don't know why a middle class dogma means I shouldn't eat. This is the most practical thing I can do to improve my situation where the upgrades aren't going to help. And by the way, the government food stamp program likely still runs on base system programming similar to what I worked with.

And to wit, this is likely "the man" complaining, but at least I'll find a little benefit from it.

I'm thinking about adding corn starch to my Great Grandma's Potato Soup Recipe

I'm not sure if it makes sense, but if I wanted to thicken G.G.'s Potato Soup I could add 2 tablespoons of corn starch. I guess it would work with either the dumplings made of flour and egg or the corn starch. So, in a pinch Corn Starch is an alternate route for her soup. ADD THIS TO RECIPE

Yes, he did it, no I didn't, no I don't want to press charges...

I don't mean to sound bitter, but just cause you think it's ok, doesn't mean it is... I don't know how long this has been going on, and I don't know how far gone I am, but "he" is bringing this on other people, I would say look at the criminals on TV but even that doesn't work anymore. Even ghosts are visible these days. Most of the time it's ok, or even pleasant, but when he pushes a non-work agenda there are a lot of young people that get hurt. He can try to extinct the dinosaurs, but I'm afraid the dinosaurs won't be extinct. He can try to "grab a piece of something, that he thinks is gonna last" but nature rules, again and again. I'm not saying that I'm the best example of hard work, by any means. But, it's clear that there are forces above and below us that have conflicting ideas. I just hope and pray that he makes the stage a creative outlet and not a stage of war.

We Really Need to Undo Solitary Advancement in Companies

With the way the average corporation treats employees, it's worth noting that every employee that does a meaningful task for the company deserves to be represented by at least 1 authority figure. The days of putting the carriage before the horse are over. We can't let "the man" use tyranny to progress history back and forth and every which direction. Just because it takes all sorts, and we have users and non-users, doesn't mean we can self-destruct for the sake of what. I'm not interested in justice and personal accountability. I'm interested in families having family time. And companies treating employees like they have families. Just because everybody's just getting by is no excuse for people closing in on other people. If you want to shove your last cent down someone else's throat then maybe you need to look at your own roots. Privacy is a non-issue, like it was yesterday, don't continually build muscle, when you need flexibility. Tracking the well worn paths of yesterday leaves you with the ghost of history, but what about tomorrow? Maybe an example from our daily lives will help... At times preparing food gives us appetite, and the meal is always better with company. I hope this shows that fallen empires are not always lost, and feeding the young should not be an exercise in futility.

I restrict, nonsense, I restrict, nonsense...then something actual happens...

I've got to clean my bathroom, it may sound like a simple chore, but I assure you it's not...Not only does it take brawn to clean a bathroom, it takes planning, and appropriate cleaners, and work clothes because you don't want to bleach your work clothes. The point is has to get done, and it's not a simple task. I tried talking my coworker into visiting, because she cleans for other people, but she dislikes it just as much as me, if not more. I've been tackling the cleaning a little bit at a time, but it's something I really would hate to get behind on. I'm going to go after the tub, likely this weekend, we'll see how it goes. Oh btw, I've got laundry to do too.

Early Retirement and Building Duel Decks...

So I've probably written this before but I could build duel decks for Magic the Gathering and sell them on eBay. I've got plenty of commons and uncommons that I could piece together to form decks. It would be a nice way to thin out my Magic the Gathering collection and make a few bucks. Plus, working through decks keeps me very sharp which seems to be a problem since "Steven Johnson Syndrome." The only real issue I see is that most of the power cards in the game are geared toward collectors and it may be hard for me to build winning decks on a shoestring budget. I've been able to build winning decks with all the gift money I have received, but that's another story. I guess there would be budget options but I would have to go back to old school options for creatures and things.

I think this would be ideal, but in reality I barely have the time and money to complete my own decks. So, for now I'll just work at completing my budget vintage decks. I'll have to sell them when I turn like 75 anyways. My goal was to make like 11 or so and I'll be hard pressed to manage that many decks. Right now Vintage Merfolk and Vintage Workshop are my top priorities and I want to finish them, as much as possible, before leaving Broadway Awards. Most of the other decks are lower priorities, like Tinker, Millstone, and even Blitz. But I was thinking it would be nice to maybe make a White Weenie deck and any progress Mom and I make in heads up play with counter-decks would be nice. So maybe I'll lower my deck goal to 6, 7, or 8 decks unless something crazy happens in the market.

There are many cards that I'm not even aware of in many modern sets and a few of the older ones. With the upgrade of magiccards.info it's harder to look through sets but not impossible. It would be nice to spend a little time looking through sets to find cards for decks.

Lah de Dah, ways to forget about being a student OR better student by trade

Notecards are the tell-tale sign of a student that wants to improve their grades, you buy notecards and use them to keep notes, arrange study papers, and what not. Some students have alternatives like post-its or digital records, but the notecards stay the same. You track a note and then recycle it in turn at a undefined time in the future. So what lead me to this note-taking epiphany? I realized that I can turn the folders in my Google Drive folders into subjects and the files would be the notes. I'm sure I've done this before but had never really realized you could just name your folders after your subjects in school. Like, one folder Biology, one folder Math, one folder Physical Education, and so on until your folder hierarchy looks like a syllabus of what you studied in school. This is helpful if you're a continuing student with many interests. It's not like you get credit or money for your files it just helps you be more organized, but it's a nice thing.

I've found Google Drive helpful in being a central repository for my files, but have yet to access it from the iMac or Cell Phone. Many of the files and programs are not compatible across platforms. And I sure miss my XP PC games.

Mtg Secondary Market...Knock Offs Come close to Real Thing...

So for a while now I've only bought authentic Mtg cards from Wizards of the Coast, but now the knock offs are a simple substitute for cards you won't otherwise get to play with. So compromise and play, or choose genuine and play a slightly different game. My first impulse, which is usually right, is to just play budget vintage with the cards I have and stay away from the secondary market. I'm not even sure if the secondary market is legal, it seems like it shouldn't be. But the prices are reasonable and the art is pretty good, with exactly the same rules text as the great cards, it makes for a tempting option. I think I still have the software to print my own cards too but budget vintage seems like it's working for now.

Timely reprint of Berserk is a Welcome Addition

Looks like they reprinted Berserk the Magic the Gathering card in the latest Conspiracy 2 set and it's sitting around $10 on the online market. This is great news as this highly sought after card used to be around $40 per copy and way out of the range of the average player. Now you can beef up green decks with this prized card. It's nice to find a niche that has been reprinted for the benefit of the Magic the Gathering community, namely my Mom and I.

There is a sweet combo deck that I was just reading about that uses Infect or Myr Superion along with Berserk and Assault Strobe to win turn 2. They were saying that countermagic and possible removal and blockers could easily stand in the way of the deck, but it's a fun idea for dining table magic. I think if I construct the deck I'll let Mom play it and I'll try to find ways around it. I said I wasn't going to build anything faster than the Gond combination and Dragon combination, but with the price of Berserk coming down it looks like a real possibility. I wonder if I could cook part of the combo into the current Gond Mom deck. With the current rates of cards it would probably go for less than a C-note for a possible turn 2 win, definitely worth looking into.

This is definitely encouraging, many reprints of good old fashioned cards and many newer cards with lots of versatility. It just makes Magic the Gathering a fun game to keep up with. Now I just have to get my forum account back and maybe learn the new search on cards. It reminds me of the days when Duelist magazine was still in publication and you could learn about new cards and broken strategies in there.

This is a good way to keep the cost of Magic the Gathering down. Simply reprint the cards that make sense, and keep a flow of new-old cards coming on the market. It's kind of like printing old ball players on modern stock for the baseball card market bringing interest to the sets. If you work the market, the market works for you...but you have to do it if you want results.

I don't like spending more than $10 per Mtg card...if that...

Many people think collecting Mtg cards is crazy to begin with, and when prices go up I tend to agree. I already have a list of cards that I would go crazy on, but the most I would spend on a card, and most likely any collectible is about $250. That means crystal chandelier two fifty, Black Lotus magic card two fifty, I just can't see spending more than that on anything that has already saw a lot of wear and tear. Machines like snowmobiles and cars would obviously be valued higher than that, but that's another post. Something that was on TV and is being resold would be higher. As far as regular rare cards go that I could use in my deck are about $10. It's about an hours worth of work and that already makes me wonder if it's worth a single 2 dimensional card. But in the land of milk and honey I think I can pay about $10 if the card is really good. Recently I turned down a deal for 4 cards coming to about $50 even though I could have spent gift money. I just don't like spending that much on a board game. I may be able to find cards to replace it, maybe, maybe not, but at least I'll be happy with the cash in my pocket. When you can buy 2 fully functional decks for $20, it's hard to spend over $100 on a custom deck that may or may not see much play. But that said, I really do enjoy customizing Mtg decks for House Rules, Comic Shop, and Tournament play.

As prices go up on vintage deck staples I may have to go into hibernate mode on the cards until the market crashes again. Obviously, as a collector and player of old fashioned Mtg cards it benefits me when I can buy the old fashioned cards at a low price, but this isn't always the case.

I'M BEAT, I'M BEAT, I'M LIKE THE HARD OLD STREET

When I retire, I'll help out around the house a lot more, and help cook meals, and help clean. I can learn to do many of the outdoor chores so Dad doesn't have to, but he'll still likely help. I'm a lot more tired than before I had the skin condition that laid me up last summer. I'm really not sure how much longer I can work before retiring. I guess I'll take walks down the drive and out to the highways to get out of the house.

First I'll have to sell all my books and most of my Dvd from the office. It shouldn't take too much to list them on eBay, I usually get a fair price on eBay. I list them in lots by subject matter. The bookcases can be put in the parking lot with FREE on them. The computer I'll sell. The old computer I'll keep. The art can stay on the walls until everything else is emptied out. I'm not really sure when I'll start, but it shouldn't take too long.

When I say that's the last thing we need, it doesn't mean it's a good idea...

Jumping to conclusions is only good if you're really desperate, you might be kind of desperate, but you're not really desperate... When someone says "that's the last thing we need" it doesn't mean we should immediately do said thing, it doesn't mean the bridge is burning, it doesn't mean the last thing makes us last... In fact I'm willing to bet that taking too many chances, especially in social situations, is what got us into this mess in the first place. It's like when 2 kids play king of the hill on a snow bank, first 1 kid get thrown down, then the next kid gets thrown down, and pretty soon there aren't any kids on the snow bank. It's the old 1,2 in 1,2,3 fashion. There are many situations where boldness pays off, but many where it doesn't. That's why I don't have a problem remaining meek when it matters, good manners last whether it's the first thing or the last thing.

And that brings me to the next issue at hand, retirement. Early retirement isn't such a bad thing when everybody and everything is pointing in that direction. I'm not going to fight the whole market. That's like when Doyle Brunson the poker player tried to stop a tonne of sheetrock from shifting and shattered his leg. I don't want another medical catastrophe, I've already spent way too much time in the doctor's office. And I'm just not making enough money to cover the rent on my office, and it doesn't help when people point this out in terrible fashion.

Even if I could prove that retirement would improve my health by a fraction of a percent, would I be able to keep myself busy enough to keep up with the difference. Because right now an unhealthy worker seems to get more credit than a healthy retiree. I know it doesn't make much sense, and the job is getting farther and farther from being good, but these are things I must think about...

Boy it's easy to get others to complain for you...

Why do they even try to treat what they don't understand?

I shouldn't have to repeat myself for a dial tone and a hot meal...

It's more and more racism because I can handle it...I don't like racism at all...I like it even less when it comes from family and friends unexpectedly...Short post, big message...

Another Magic the Gathering Post...Forget Color Abillities when Thinking in Terms of Rules Text...

So I love Mtg just the way it is, why would I want to change it?! I just think that if every color had access to the basic abilities of cards it would make for more variety in deck design and hopefully lead to funner matches. For example, there could be "Lightning Bolt" in every color, "deal 3 damage", or "Disenchant" in every color "Destroy target artifact or enchantment", or spot removal in every color, "Destroy target creature" I see WoTc doing this more and more as sets come out, but if they made a conscious effort to bring basic abilities to the 5 colors, they might find the play balanced out and see more variety instead of less. That of course is the worry, that if you dilute color abilities too much the game loses it's feel of color abilities. But you can do this even for the creatures, you can have a "Behemoth Grizzly Bear" that is a 4/4 creature with First Strike, then in the other color you can have a "Giant Headless Zombie" that's a 4/4 creature with First Strike...of course it doesn't have to be this obvious, and you can spread abilities out over sets, but it wouldn't hurt if you could choose which color you want your creature heavy deck to be in, or your direct damage deck to be in...And I do notice that you WoTc are making stronger creatures in all colors which is a welcome addition....Hell, I wouldn't even mind if WoTc added colors to the color wheel. They already sort of did this with colorless creatures "Elderazi", but why not have a renaissance of Magic the Gathering and add all the primary and secondary colors, plus black and white...that would be 8 colors in the color wheel instead of 5. You would have to redesign the backs of the cards but it could make for a really nice revival...Not to mention you would have approximately 30 or more dual lands and could really distinguish between sets with higher runs.

The More I Act Human, the More the Human Acts like Technology

To what end will this silly game of hide and seek come to, probably a heart attack...

Best vs. Lean in Gaming and in Life...

I feel like many instances of ideals and in this case Magic the Gathering decks can be boiled down into 2 categories...the Best case scenario where you're playing with simple rules and just do what makes sense, and then there is the Lean category where you're playing for tournament dominance and could cut corners... I guess there are pro's and con's of each strategy, but I find myself gearing toward Best more and more every day because it seems that the Lean doesn't go away even if you want it to. So my decks are becoming cheaper and more easy-going as time goes on, it doesn't mean I'm not vested in the game, perhaps it's just a more mature sensibilities and priorities list. Either way there are fewer "dirty deeds done dirt cheap" and more "wanna soak up the sun." I'm sure there will still be many lost causes, dead ends, mistakes, false starts etc...but it's clear that board games including Magic the Gathering and poker for that matter have their limits...

Boy, it would be nice if I could make other people complain for me...

This is in jest, it's not serious... But what if people just lost their minds and whined whenever I was near?

I know I'm repeating myself, but someone must listen to my great ideas...

In all formats of Magic the Gathering we need balanced creature combat...They (Wotc) are doing a better and better job of it as the sets come out, but we want creature combat in all formats, even the older formats like Vintage and Legacy... If that means a harsher Restricted List then so be it...The point of limiting the sets is to have more balanced play, but wouldn't it be nice if there were less restrictions and better creature interaction...I dare say, at least the way it HAS BEEN played, is that you cast creatures to the battlefield and they fight, and sometimes they deal damage to your opponent, and then you win. But if we were to have better "instants" and "artifacts" and "enchantments" that could compare with creatures, then the game would be more balanced and possibly even simplify the multiple formats we've seen. For example, Vintage and Legacy should have never been separated, and Modern and Standard should have never been separated. You're creating weight classes when you don't even have any fighters...Also a reason Duel Decks were a good idea...Having less of a bright line on color abilities would likely balance the play, but may leave the overall feel of the game lacking...

Setting You Up for a Big Loss...

Why does it seem the Freudian slips come at the least opportune times? It has nothing to do with honor, as they would have you believe...It has more to do with the price of pain killers than anything...It's funny how they talk about sense and their own illness in the same breath, you think that might have something to do with it???

Oh, and by the way, if I were gambling, which I'm not, I wouldn't bet less than 2 cents or more than a dollar, but that's just me...

Do My Posts Write Themselves or am I Still Here?

It's getting worse and worse, the insistent bickering of ghosts, or people, or whatever, bringing disharmony into my life...I know nature is wanting, and so are people, but we must have a little humanity in our jeans that will guide us or give us the time necessary to live without fear.

Cramping my Style

So, it wasn't a problem until now...I don't believe they are truly lapping me because if they were they would listen better...But the cost of Magic the Gathering cards have gone up again, it's like they are trying to make an illness out of a board game, and they are succeeding...I don't have a problem with charging up for things, except when it's a board game...The very values that they are trying to espouse are totally contradicted by overcharging for this board game....It's like they, the hospitals, the store owners, the people in charge, if there are any left, are trying to make something from nothing...this goes back to the reason I went into Computer Science....because it was the only thing left after the "End Days"... You can't keep charging more for less because of what you THINK you see....The nature of things isn't as bad as what you're trying to throw in there...I would be perfectly fine with my many hundred dollar investment in Magic the Gathering going down as long as I could source the new power cards for a reasonable price...

In reality it should run $10-$20 for 2 decks, and all your jockeying for position on hot new cards should be built into that price. That would keep the board game fun.

I've Long Since Quit Smoking, but My Thoughts on Tobacco

I think smoking is 75% drug reaction, and 25% habitual. I miss smoking quite a bit but I know it's not for me. Even though the art of smoking cigarettes got me out of the house, and made me feel better, the stigma, health problems, and related problems are all enough to put it on the back burner for now. When you're the 1 paying for the rush it's just not as much fun. It's also worthwhile to note that it's hard to just smoke 1 cigarette. Like, you think you'll have 1 cigarette this month and it turns into a pack a day for a whole month. I truly do wonder about the nature of patterns.

That said, will I never smoke again? Probably not, but who's to tell.

I'm Old School

I don't want to challenge norms, I don't want to reach past human limits, I don't want to try things I know or don't know...I'm old school...a friendly task and a friendly day are enough for me...if you want to cull deadly drugs while reading from a deadly script, then that's just not Old School enough for me. I don't care if you live your life the way you want to live it, but don't drug me into it. If that means I'm on the wrong side of the coin, then so be it.

Too Hot for TV or History Repeats Itself...

When they figure out the classy (read petty) tech they are getting now doesn't work they are going to revert to tape and tubes in a hard way... I've already seen signs of inventiveness in the young. There are modern choruses, and caddies, and betazoids...whether they see them or not. It's just a matter of making sure we're moving forward and not backward. I'm not talking the technology, the technology will always move forward even when an iteration is a reduction of history. Even if history were no more, the technology would march relentlessly forward. But the economy, the raw notion of humanity, the history of the slopes, and the marsh, and the back alleys must be made to move forward. Dare I say own up to progress, invent class, and realize with our eyes...

Die id, Die...

Something tells me they are killing my humanity until I really am a ghost and they can do what they want...

I'm not old or new, like middle school, fifth grade like junior high...

When defeat, repeat...

I wonder what they will do with my soul after they have killed my mind and body?

Oh, I forgot, it's because the living are abusing the dead...

There's sense, and the more common nonsense, and the oh so rare common sense...

I want to age gracefully...

Have you ever noticed that trying people are trying...

What happened to the history of computer formatting?!

So, I looked at the archives of my old site and it seemed that much of the web formatting that was there is now not there, I know history doesn't change, or at least not for the better, but where the heck are my frames? I'm sure it's just somebody messing with the archives, but still. You would think with all the power in the world these guys would have much better things to do than imitate history. Like maybe making a public library of useful content and programs. Like, I realize there are limits, but not the kind of limits these guys are thinking. I'm like a kindertgardener trying to make a finger painting with my nephew and these guys are no limit soldiers. It's like save the heat for the real bad guys you've been chasing for Millennia.

When things get real choppy it's hard on my circulation. In AZ where you can go for a walk and meet several people, it may not be so bad. But in Minnesota, where you have to pick your battles, it's a real concern. I don't like no limit soldiers dictating health any more than the next guy, but the last time I checked it is legal to have a good day. I'll leave you with that, oh and don't fix it if it ain't broke.

Ghosts are Real, and My God they are Sexy...

Seriously though, I feel like I'm in a production of "West Side Story" and I'm the kid in the gang that gets killed. I know stupid is as stupid does, but when will I feel like myself? Now that I've properly mixed my metaphors, I'm going to finish my coffee and take a nap in my office.

"I am" kind of a gold bug

So I'm kind of a gold bug, I like the cherries with the pits in them better than the ones without, I like electronics and paring devices better than flowers, I like dirt better than sand, I like booze better than water...Now this is probably what they were saying when they said I have a mood disorder but I'm finally coming to the realization that "they" were right. I still think it was pre-emptive, and may have been a what comes first situation, but the gold miner in me is the same gold miner that was in that kid that studied all the fatalities in the games, and I think every human has one.

This doesn't mean I'm unclean, or that I'm petty even, just that there is a meaning behind my madness.

U gotta do what U gotta do, but leave the mechanics out of it...

There are nurses, and there are mechanics, they don't step on each others toes and they rarely meet in nature except for the occasional mixer or party, but they should be conscious enough to keep from interfering with one another. For example, a mechanic shouldn't use a syringe in a fuel injector, and a nurse shouldn't have the bedside manner of a radiator. Common sense, yes, funny, no...

Move toward your goals, not in reverse, not in slow motion, not toward your neighbors (or your reflections) goals...

Move toward your goals, not in reverse, not in slow motion, not toward your neighbors (or your reflections) goals...

Hitting the books...again...

So even though I feel my schooling is nearly finished, I will still have to hit the books in my work pursuits...I'm not sure, but I have a feeling I want plants in my office, no seriously, I want to finish my electronic to-do list, build a radio, and get back to the fundamentals of programming in my Java and C textbooks, and maybe Html. That's where I started, that's where I'll finish. I may even find a way to revert to a previous version of Windows, if I'm lucky...

They're Too Violent...

I don't know why they're too violent (probably greed), but I see it reaching into my own time more often than ever... It's probably like the Time Machine where the violent Morlocks would come up to the surface to eat the peaceful Eloi, Whenever it seems like violence is becoming the norm I go back to that book. It's got plenty of allegory and metaphor. But why should I have to be the vegetarian in the room when I'm not the violent 1? I feel like it's more than just me that are at their wits end...

The New Wave, Programming Without Dilbert...

Now I'm sure I'm repeating myself, but some things are better said twice...

We need to feel more and fee less...It's what the Union has been doing in the city for a long time, but rationing petty tech just isn't living to me...It's like a friend of mine said, "I hate the work I'm doing." To be honest I don't want anyone to hate the work they're doing, even if it's counterproductive. But it seems the technology that produces just isn't Dilbert quality. Even though I shy away from drawing a hard-line it must be said that we should "Pour some sugar on me" as the song goes. It's hard for me to advocate starting or ending, but isn't it starting that gets the job done. We just have to be extra careful where we start. With petty tech being the norm today, it's hard to say where we should start. It's clear that as the Union makes more points it makes it harder to be ourselves, but then again we rely on the strength of the Union for our creative work. That said, it wouldn't hurt if more of us found pleasure in common sense things.

Pride in all the Right Places...

When you're a ghost on the street, pride is a very real concern, in fact I'm willing to bet the more hardship you've encountered the more pride becomes a concern. The problem with pride is there are about a million ways to have poor pride, and about 12 ways to have positive pride. Without getting into what constitutes self-care and what may mean vanity, I'm willing to say if you're a positive person it's probably self-care, and if you're a negative person it's probably vanity. Or at least what you reflect. Let's be wary of people who ration out pride, even if it's you, the ghost on the street.  Conduct should be appreciated whether it's yours or someone else. We can't necessarily put a price on conduct except to say it makes a better whole. But, for the action oriented in the crowd, we can build whole things while being whole. This means happy workers, happy products. And to be entirely honest, sometimes humans are ignorant, we don't spend the time to have happy workers or happy products. But a happy anecdote I found on facebook is... When you walk alone it's "Race," and when you walk with God it's "Grace."

All this might not help the common man who is struggling to make ends meat, but then again it might. When we put our own pride in the mix and realize our own vanity it helps make whole what once was short. It's not to say humanity is short on pride, or even vanity for that matter, but that we should be aware without rationing. The idiot inside of me is screaming let me engineer something for someone else, but recognizing that I too am short sighted allows me to reach out and hopefully grab something whole. U wish, I wish...

Am I repeating myself... When you want a challenge, you get a challenge, when you don't want a challenge, you still get a challenge...

So, in short, life is challenging... I still mean what I said about wishing other people would complain for me, but still...(side note: I hope I don't project my own longing onto the photos of young people I see)

Gotta find solace in the chaos...at least it's sunny today...

Funny thing is when I repeat myself I don't resist it, so any divergence from the norm isn't that big of a divergence...still want solace though...

Ever since I was in the hospital for Chicken Pox or whatever hellish disease it was, my eyes have been gouping up, like when I wake up there's a bunch of gunk under my right eye...It's not enough to be a major problem, but it's a constant reminder of the hell I went through for no good reason....Even if the decisions I make have a remote effect on my health, I should be a heck of a lot healthier than I am...

Enough complaining for now...

Production has moved around and now there are different stations in the work room at Broadway Awards...different good, different bad, different yes...

On a completely separate note...So in all honesty, I wouldn't say I am greedy, but I trend that way... I think everyone is hungry it's just a matter of how much and when... When you're young you say "How much, I'll buy it" when you're getting there, you say "when will this end." And I'm sure you go back and forth. Even the strictest angels and gold bugs have their limits...

Now I'm going to see if the ridge of snow has melted, and if it hasn't I'll shovel it...

Blah Git

Sometimes you just gotta Blah Git, if you don't want to Blah Git, you still Blah Git...

I may have to call it quits at an associates degree

I was thinking that I would like to continue on in college for the long haul, but as I get older the value of a dollar is changing and I might just be content with my Associates Degree. Now, I still recognize great value in college, but the price may be prohibitive. While many of the most interesting people I know are still paying down their college loans. Another negative point to continuing with school is that, in some circles, the technology used for production has gone to a more touch-and-go IOS type of software. I was thinking about majoring in something other than Computer Science, but along with cost the time spent pouring over books may be prohibitive.  I can't say I would change my basket-weaving career in the least, just that it feels incomplete, like it's not finished.

There are plenty of things I could do to find resolve in my education without actually going back to college. I could write study papers and publish them without formally re-entering school. I can stay current on changes in the technology atmosphere, even though this seems to be discouraged. There are plenty of things a budding student can do even in his 30's where he can make advances without rehashing the same problems that are constantly presented him.

My psychiatrist, when we talked, said it sounded like I was being tortured. And that may be true, but at least I'll have a game plan in how I want to spend my time. While this isn't exactly related to school, it is related to the atmosphere I would like to nurture while continuing my work. I would like to take multiple walks per day, most weather permitting. Have a variety of healthy food and drink at my disposal. I would like to have house-plants and pets around as long as it's not self-destructive. I would like to come to terms with Windows 7 and the petty tech culture that we are going through if possible. I really feel like there's a better culture waiting for me if I'm honest with myself, and honest with my family and community, and honest with my environment.

That said, there is very little room for creativity in the current situation. Even rational fears and expressions are discouraged on a daily basis. I won't go so far as saying it's a mass genocide, but I'm certainly "losing my religion." When everyday life becomes a commodity, you find the commodity of life, which isn't always a good thing. Many situations in life become too lean for comfort, and the house of cards becomes a house of forgiving problems, that sometimes don't exist. It makes sense when you forgive a major problem for a major reason, but when you're wrestling with small problems on a perpetual basis, it makes it hard to function.

As a parting thought, maybe I just miss school.

ironically, if we let people live their lives without interrupting them, they would be more expressive

There are a vast majority of people whom interrupt other people, and it's usually to tell them to be more expressive. The funny thing is, if those people weren't interrupted they would likely come to expressive ends naturally.

Sweeping vs. Ticking

There are, in large part, 2 varieties of ticking when it comes to clocks and watches. Both are fine at telling time, but there are important style differences.  There are the more basic, dare I say nostalgic variety of watch that ticks once per second. This once per second variety has an abrupt hacking motion as each second jumps then wiggles a little and finally comes to rest at its destination. These watches and clocks can have an unnerving feel as each second clicks through the air. It's like a pugs tail wagging in the afternoon, back and forth, back and forth.

The second type, dare I say more artistic in design, is the sweeping hand of an automatic or specially designed quartz watch. The second hand still ticks, but does so many times it's nearly invisible to the naked eye, sweeping around the clock face in a smooth motion. These watches appeal to the collector and watch enthusiast that appreciates fine time-pieces and accurate movements.

Maybe if you didn't interrupt and force other people to interrupt, you wouldn't have as many problems...

Many times you're interrupted by something or someone, when you were doing fine with what you had. They think they are doing you a favor many times, but many times it's ill-timed and motivated by selfishness.

Globalization can be a Good Thing

People generally lament the expansion of horizons and the dispersion of peoples, but in today's global village there can be real growth from the city across the globe. When you're looking at your own options in a small community you can see the strengths of yourself and your neighbors clearly, but what you don't recognize is that there are communities from the far reaches of the globe that may specialize in your weaknesses. For example, while the Midwest may not be the leader in localized trade, there may be communities in the far reaches where local markets flourish. And while the Midwest may lack the technical prowess to provide high quality instruments, they may be shipped in from Nashville or somewhere else.

The point is the worldly interests that support us may be beyond our horizon, but that's okay. As long as we are aware that supply and demand is a far reaching thing that can allow for specialization or expanse. When one tries to limit things that don't pertain to them, this can lead to gross disappointment. Just because your area of expertise is in one thing doesn't mean that's the only way you can be assertive. For example, if you run a hospital your only concern is not treating patients, there are many other facets that need attention. For example, if you're driving a car you shouldn't be concerned with what the driver a block off is doing. Just to name a couple.

I guess what I'm saying is knowledge of your community is a double edged sword. There is room for growth, and room for mistakes, but no room for not trying.

Maybe I just want somebody to complain for me, so I don't have to

How is it most of the complaints in my life have nothing to do with the problems in my life?

You have to forgive people less when you antagonize them less...

This is not a bright cheery post, I wish it were. The more you antagonize people, the more they make you the target of their misery, and if you're a good person it means that you will likely forgive them more often. So why not save yourself the headache and not antagonize them in the first place.

Most people are decent and will cut you a little slack when you or they make a mistake, but some people are very vindictive and obsessed with history to the point that they can make your life a real hassle. When I was younger I sought out the fight for God knows what reason, but now I'm beginning to wonder if there's any merit in it. Maybe it's my health that's thinking for me these days and it says, "You can't fight any more."

Now, I like sport and poker and conversation, but when people are testy for no good reason I'm not willing to put up with it. But people aren't listening to my protests to be civil, so I guess I'll work in isolation. This is very bad for the economy. Creative suffering is not a conductive work atmosphere. I guess the fall of Rome was because an American god felt he was right, and that's likely the same reason my health has been faltering.