I may have to call it quits at an associates degree

I was thinking that I would like to continue on in college for the long haul, but as I get older the value of a dollar is changing and I might just be content with my Associates Degree. Now, I still recognize great value in college, but the price may be prohibitive. While many of the most interesting people I know are still paying down their college loans. Another negative point to continuing with school is that, in some circles, the technology used for production has gone to a more touch-and-go IOS type of software. I was thinking about majoring in something other than Computer Science, but along with cost the time spent pouring over books may be prohibitive.  I can't say I would change my basket-weaving career in the least, just that it feels incomplete, like it's not finished.

There are plenty of things I could do to find resolve in my education without actually going back to college. I could write study papers and publish them without formally re-entering school. I can stay current on changes in the technology atmosphere, even though this seems to be discouraged. There are plenty of things a budding student can do even in his 30's where he can make advances without rehashing the same problems that are constantly presented him.

My psychiatrist, when we talked, said it sounded like I was being tortured. And that may be true, but at least I'll have a game plan in how I want to spend my time. While this isn't exactly related to school, it is related to the atmosphere I would like to nurture while continuing my work. I would like to take multiple walks per day, most weather permitting. Have a variety of healthy food and drink at my disposal. I would like to have house-plants and pets around as long as it's not self-destructive. I would like to come to terms with Windows 7 and the petty tech culture that we are going through if possible. I really feel like there's a better culture waiting for me if I'm honest with myself, and honest with my family and community, and honest with my environment.

That said, there is very little room for creativity in the current situation. Even rational fears and expressions are discouraged on a daily basis. I won't go so far as saying it's a mass genocide, but I'm certainly "losing my religion." When everyday life becomes a commodity, you find the commodity of life, which isn't always a good thing. Many situations in life become too lean for comfort, and the house of cards becomes a house of forgiving problems, that sometimes don't exist. It makes sense when you forgive a major problem for a major reason, but when you're wrestling with small problems on a perpetual basis, it makes it hard to function.

As a parting thought, maybe I just miss school.