I may have to call it quits at an associates degree

I was thinking that I would like to continue on in college for the long haul, but as I get older the value of a dollar is changing and I might just be content with my Associates Degree. Now, I still recognize great value in college, but the price may be prohibitive. While many of the most interesting people I know are still paying down their college loans. Another negative point to continuing with school is that, in some circles, the technology used for production has gone to a more touch-and-go IOS type of software. I was thinking about majoring in something other than Computer Science, but along with cost the time spent pouring over books may be prohibitive.  I can't say I would change my basket-weaving career in the least, just that it feels incomplete, like it's not finished.

There are plenty of things I could do to find resolve in my education without actually going back to college. I could write study papers and publish them without formally re-entering school. I can stay current on changes in the technology atmosphere, even though this seems to be discouraged. There are plenty of things a budding student can do even in his 30's where he can make advances without rehashing the same problems that are constantly presented him.

My psychiatrist, when we talked, said it sounded like I was being tortured. And that may be true, but at least I'll have a game plan in how I want to spend my time. While this isn't exactly related to school, it is related to the atmosphere I would like to nurture while continuing my work. I would like to take multiple walks per day, most weather permitting. Have a variety of healthy food and drink at my disposal. I would like to have house-plants and pets around as long as it's not self-destructive. I would like to come to terms with Windows 7 and the petty tech culture that we are going through if possible. I really feel like there's a better culture waiting for me if I'm honest with myself, and honest with my family and community, and honest with my environment.

That said, there is very little room for creativity in the current situation. Even rational fears and expressions are discouraged on a daily basis. I won't go so far as saying it's a mass genocide, but I'm certainly "losing my religion." When everyday life becomes a commodity, you find the commodity of life, which isn't always a good thing. Many situations in life become too lean for comfort, and the house of cards becomes a house of forgiving problems, that sometimes don't exist. It makes sense when you forgive a major problem for a major reason, but when you're wrestling with small problems on a perpetual basis, it makes it hard to function.

As a parting thought, maybe I just miss school.

ironically, if we let people live their lives without interrupting them, they would be more expressive

There are a vast majority of people whom interrupt other people, and it's usually to tell them to be more expressive. The funny thing is, if those people weren't interrupted they would likely come to expressive ends naturally.

Sweeping vs. Ticking

There are, in large part, 2 varieties of ticking when it comes to clocks and watches. Both are fine at telling time, but there are important style differences.  There are the more basic, dare I say nostalgic variety of watch that ticks once per second. This once per second variety has an abrupt hacking motion as each second jumps then wiggles a little and finally comes to rest at its destination. These watches and clocks can have an unnerving feel as each second clicks through the air. It's like a pugs tail wagging in the afternoon, back and forth, back and forth.

The second type, dare I say more artistic in design, is the sweeping hand of an automatic or specially designed quartz watch. The second hand still ticks, but does so many times it's nearly invisible to the naked eye, sweeping around the clock face in a smooth motion. These watches appeal to the collector and watch enthusiast that appreciates fine time-pieces and accurate movements.

Maybe if you didn't interrupt and force other people to interrupt, you wouldn't have as many problems...

Many times you're interrupted by something or someone, when you were doing fine with what you had. They think they are doing you a favor many times, but many times it's ill-timed and motivated by selfishness.

Globalization can be a Good Thing

People generally lament the expansion of horizons and the dispersion of peoples, but in today's global village there can be real growth from the city across the globe. When you're looking at your own options in a small community you can see the strengths of yourself and your neighbors clearly, but what you don't recognize is that there are communities from the far reaches of the globe that may specialize in your weaknesses. For example, while the Midwest may not be the leader in localized trade, there may be communities in the far reaches where local markets flourish. And while the Midwest may lack the technical prowess to provide high quality instruments, they may be shipped in from Nashville or somewhere else.

The point is the worldly interests that support us may be beyond our horizon, but that's okay. As long as we are aware that supply and demand is a far reaching thing that can allow for specialization or expanse. When one tries to limit things that don't pertain to them, this can lead to gross disappointment. Just because your area of expertise is in one thing doesn't mean that's the only way you can be assertive. For example, if you run a hospital your only concern is not treating patients, there are many other facets that need attention. For example, if you're driving a car you shouldn't be concerned with what the driver a block off is doing. Just to name a couple.

I guess what I'm saying is knowledge of your community is a double edged sword. There is room for growth, and room for mistakes, but no room for not trying.