Getting Socially Krunked @ Arizona

I'm going to work at getting off during Saturday poker tournaments, without being obnoxious...maybe 2 beers during poker, playing a little goofy...that's the beauty of poker, I can be goofy with or without anyone noticing.

Why do I blog?

To put it simply, it's an easy way for me to think through my feelings. Yes, I'm avoiding my feelings, because pretty much every feeling carried to its conclusion results in being ill. Now, I don't know this for certain because I stay as close to root as possible, yet I do believe there is a better way.

It must involve finding a wife then giving a child as much time as they want.

Right now I'm high as a kite from porn and masterbation, but I'm also feeling well, which means I'm calmly exploring my emotions and thoughts.

Something that keeps recurring in my own life and with Broadway Awards is that I want us to copy the big companies and the rest of the company does what works. Now I believe they are justified in doing what works, yet I think it's my responsibility to push them.

I want to clean up my act, and I mean that as an expression, not an obsessive regression. I want to learn to rely on myself and my family and my habitat.

...I really want to keep typing cause the cursor keeps blinking and I like the sound of the keys clicking and the words falling on the screen, and the sound of the words in my head...

Basically I'm taking every opportunity to do my best, because that's what I can explain, that's what wants to be seen, that's what I want to experience. Now, I know there is a ton of debilitating filth that can be dreamed up, and debilitating fantasy as well, but my fantasies and filth are the everyday variety, but my loved ones tell me to do something else, do something more, show off, take credit, and move on. Well I really want to focus on the things I value, like a pictograph, simple and profound.

Now I give my family my best and my worst and all I get in return is phsycho thoughts. What I want in return is stamina, and smiles, and savory victories with crunchy points. I may be a bit immature in this desire but it is truly what I seek, being calm long enough to forget about bloody thoughts, like now. Getting above guns and cigarettes and having painless, memorable, fun with my family.

Which brings me to Arizona, I'm leaving for there on the 27th of this month. So, in my dreams I don't get my skating helmet and pads until Christmas of this year, but I'm strongly considering using the money I get June 3 to make a big purchase from skates.com.

I hope I can stay somewhat sober while in AZ.

The Living Ranch

The living ranch is a ranch house, with a wild yard, that is always adapting to the growth and weather. It may be self sufficient making its own soda pop, milk, eggs, bread, meat, coffee, clothes, yet the distinguishing feature is its willingness to constantly change walls, energy sources, drives giving the house a very turbulent feel, yet making for constant growth and contraction. With a more suburban feel than an Amish house, yet simple and rustic enough to justify hard work. Basicly a very modern, green, ranch. On second thought, the self sufficiency of the ranch is not nearly as important as the novelty and growth of the ranch. Think field of dreams the movie, with a skate park, basketball court, tennis court, volleyball court, playground, while keeping the farming, and making the most modern, adaptive, ranch house possible. Now, I'm not imagining a gilded mansion, but more of an efficient, green, dream, accepting the roles of nature, accepting our own screwy goals, and accepting that a home need be given more attention. While keeping from gettting too ecclectic, greasy, benign, cold, you know, too much. Well, this would be a truly wonderful feat, and the family that lives in this ranch could communicate to the urban world via satelite internet and trips to home depot.

Alley Painter's Son Taught me to Skateboard

The blond kid accross the alley from Broadway Awards taught me the mechanics of a quality ollie. That's where I'm beginning, or beginning again, I do recall having ollied a board on its side. I'm sure it takes practice, practice, practice. I took some epic wipes so now I need to recoup before I go out again. Here's what happened...he setup his board on its side and I started at it from about 6 feet away, jumped, lost track of my legs and planted into the cement. I'm a little dizzy from the whole experience. I'm going to see what my folks are up to downstairs. I'm glad I didn't get too bloodied. Now I'll see what they are doing.

Tshirt with I'd be unstoppable if not for law enforcement & physics...

Funny shirt for sale online says "I'd be unstoppable if not for law enforcement & physics." Hilarious, but too gross to actually wear around :)

So, I finally figured out why I bank...it's cause I like money.

Angst, Count on This

I Want as Much Credit for my Big Ticket Productions as my Sex Addiction, so that I am calmed and reassured by my guitar, and my skates, and my friends and family. I accept my memory is a bloody mess, so do something about it.

Angst, Desalination is Easier than Originally Thought

Yeah, taking the salt out of water to make it edible is not that hard. I don't know the easiest way todo it but I do know that it's not that hard. Yeah, I would love to drink water, but I'm working, so I drink coffee.

I'm not angry with civilization's essentialism, I'm angry with my own anger. UPDATE: Not true

Technology and Industry

Technology progressed similiar to industry, yet the pace was breathtaking. Just as we kept our kids from complex machines we must keep our kids from complex software.