Progress

I'm feeling a bit better than my last post, my feet warmed up, hurrah. I'm still putting on weight and waking up from nightmares and very much anxious when I'm around others, but I'm determined to live the best life I can with whatever condition I'm diagnosed with and whatever hurdles are in my path. In order to help myself, and anyone else I have to find ways to interact, and I seem to be pushed towards getting a job, so I'm thinking in that direction. It would be nice to have nice things too. I seem to be having a little bit of deja vu which is scary because of the terrible things I've heard, read, seen, etc because I'm afraid I'm on the wrong path as I was before. I feel good about getting food for me and some people in the office. I feel bad that another of my mom's employees seemed sad today.

I was very much relieved when I read that another person felt as though they were being tested on schizophrenia.com bulletin boards so I don't feel as alone. I'm inspired by a screensaver that I found that replays my favorite chess games. You can download it here.

With schizophrenia, I often feel like I've caused a lot of pain and suffering, like I carry the world on my shoulders, and my family seems sad since I've been mentally ill, what seems like most of my life. But I feel that there is a warm ball of hope in each of us and that, God willing, we'll all be good and healthy someday. I don't know why I have such a hard time with simple things like work and laundry and cleaning up after myself. I go to bed each night hoping that I'll be away from all the worries of the world when I wake up. I feel like I might be making progress with my mental illness and that one day we will all be good and healthy.

Gained a pound

Sometimes our best intentions turn into bags and bags of sunflower seeds and late night bread binges. I've gained a pound. What weighs more a pound of sunflower seeds or a pound of guilt? Back to tracking online, drinking lots of water, and taking jogs(if the weather cooperates). I haven't smoked any cigarettes so far this month. In April I was slowly replacing cigarettes with Nicorette gum and now in May I'm only chewing gum. I still want to smoke every day, but with all the support I've gotten to be smoke-free, from family, friends, and God, it's hard to smoke with a clean conscience.

I've started an online store where you can get professionally graded sports cards mounted on a cherry, oak, or walnut plaque at http://www.versaglobe.com/.

My older site with a slightly new twist of Real Estate, Toys and Tricks, Humanities, Collecting, Computers, Health, Music Theory, Art Theory, Games, Downloads, and more can be found at the new address http://www.proelia.com/.

Lost 18.8 on Weight Watchers

Yesterday was my ninth week of Weight Watchers. I've lost another 1.8 pounds for a grand total of 18.8 pounds lost. I feel better, walk/jog more often, and drink more water.

I've started an online store where you can get professionally graded sports cards mounted on a cherry, oak, or walnut plaque at http://www.versaglobe.com/.

My older site with a slightly new twist of Real Estate, Toys and Tricks, Humanities, Collecting, Computers, Health, Music Theory, Art Theory, Games, Downloads, and more can be found at the new address http://www.proelia.com/.

Weight Watchers Loss 10.8 Pounds

I weighed in at Weight Watchers today and lost another 2.6 pounds for a grand total of 10.8 pounds lost. I learned that I can use some of my "extra" 35 points a week and still lose weight, but I probably don't want to use all of them if I can help it.

I've started an online store where you can get professionally graded sports cards mounted on a cherry, oak, or walnut plaque at http://www.versaglobe.com/.

My older site with a slightly new twist of Real Estate, Toys and Tricks, Humanities, Collecting, Computers, Health, Music Theory, Art Theory, Games, Downloads, and more can be found at the new address http://www.proelia.com/.

Weight Watchers Loss 8.2 Pounds

I weighed in at Weight Watchers on Saturday and lost another 0.6 pounds for a grand total of 8.2 pounds lost. Randy, our group leader, is a very motivational guy. I had a lot of food at a birthday party on Saturday after the meeting so I hope next week will show another loss.

An example of what VersaGlobe is all about can be found on Ebay.

I've started an online store where you can get professionally graded sports cards mounted on a cherry, oak, or walnut plaque at http://www.versaglobe.com/.

My older site with a slightly new twist of Real Estate, Toys and Tricks, Humanities, Collecting, Computers, Health, Music Theory, Art Theory, Games, Downloads, and more can be found at the new address http://www.proelia.com/.

New Blog and Two New Sites

I've started an online store where you can get professionally graded sports cards mounted on a cherry, oak, or walnut plaque at http://www.versaglobe.com/.

My older site with a slightly new twist of Real Estate, Toys and Tricks, Humanities, Collecting, Computers, Health, Music Theory, Art Theory, Games, Downloads, and more can be found at the new address http://www.proelia.com/.

Welcome to my new blog and I look forward to reading your comments.